My legs are killing me. Quads, ITB, knees, and the little ligament/tendon down the outside of the tibia.
Thanks to the tuesday classes.

I always feel like after Tuesday passes the week gets over faster cos there aren't any tiring days left. But this is only because our rep is so relaxing. -_-

I don't know if I'm too distant or too clingy sometimes you know. Makes me wanna go crazy. Seriously next time I'm just gonna ask straight out. In class too.

I'm really blogging for the sake of blogging here.

Okay let's blog about the book I'm reading now. Its really good I think. The Other Side of the Story written by Marian Keyes. Its about these 3 women and two of them wrote books and the middle person is their publishing agent and well it gets really complicated but a running theme through the book is cheating.

One girl's dad leaves her mother for a younger woman after 35 years of marriage. That same girl's fiance left her for her best friend and had a baby with her. The agent is having an affair with her boss who is married with kids... etc.

And its all talked about in a very lighthearted tone, though of course the conflict is very present.

It kind of made me think a little... There are a thousand and one methods to be unfaithful to the commitment you made to another person. And I believe that sometimes, the line between being friendly and unfaithful can be really fine, and the boundaries are decided upon by yourself and your partner.

Not to say that you can't have friends once you're attached, but the thing is, what does being attached mean? What's the difference between being attached and being friends?

Its probably too early for me to talk about this but if I want a relationship that is less physical and more emotional/mental, what's the difference then?

For me, I really don't mind that he has had his share of the field. I know them, I like them as classmates/schoolmates and it won't change because I don't want to judge people based on what they did in the past, because so far their present hasn't hurt me in any way. Probably the only thing I would worry about is that he hasn't really put down the hope of their relationship continuing further. Its difficult to be sure about it, but I guess what I mean is that I'm not sure of what he feels of his past.

I know, trust right?

But the thing is, I really don't understand why anyone would feel even the slightest amount of attraction towards someone like me. Before you go rolling your eyes at my hypocrisy, its not! I'm really quite sincere about this. I mean, as friends yea I can be pleasant but I see nothing special in me that a million others (with better qualities) don't have?

Omg sorry I know this is all sounding a bit paranoid but I guess I've never really felt assured about myself so this just adds on to my insecurities.

Really tiring for the people around me huh. :(

Back to the beginning, I know the culture is different here, but sometimes I feel uncomfortable when I see people who are attached being really friendly to their friends. Okay even typing that out sounds stupid but sorry, I'm not someone who's very generous with hugs and shares everything with people that I'm not very close to. That's why I've never said it out loud? Because I feel like its probably something I'm not used to, like its part of their culture...

But I think I'm too clueless for someone like him. Sometimes I really feel like he'll grow tired of me sooner or later hahaha... I just I should just enjoy the moment huh? :)

I'm just afraid that I'm holding back because I'm afraid.

I can literally see the thoughts in my head changing week after week. In terms of learning... its interesting, but I don't think the people around me may like it. :/ ohwell...

My legs are really killing me.