faith.hope.love

Advising day today.
For both shenyun and in general.

Usually I'm not very happy after advising, its like going for a doctor's appointment where the doctor tells you: Your health is not in grave danger, but you're still dying anyway.

You know its the truth and you know most people are like that but there's still not much reason to smile.

So this year it was a bit more different with all the drama going on... seriously I thought I wasn't the one moping around school already so the teachers wouldn't have noticed, not until the girls told them like, directly.

But well, what's happened has happened, saying it and not talking about it doesn't affect the event itself (just my emotions dammit).

But I just gotta learn how to deal with all the negativity, and how I just want to run away and let them all shut up etc.

Somehow I feel like I'm okay now. I accept how the way things are, how the way certain people are and even though its no cause for celebration, I'm not gonna be depressed or worry about it anymore.

One of my teachers told me, no one can love a person who doesn't love themself (wtf what is the right grammar for this?!). And I think its true la.

I want to be there for the people I love, but if I'm just getting what I want from them then I'll be a burden to people instead.

And some people are not worth my time. I may not hate them but if they can't even respect me and be a little more patient with me then why should I spend the effort to be patient with them?

I won't assume everyone is like me, so I won't judge if they do things or think differently. But if you lash out at me, I don't see the need to accept the criticism either.

理性一点

Gotta stop taking myself for granted.

Gonna keep working on it.
Gonna keep dancing my heart out.

I'm trying my best, and I'll stop expecting others to do the same.

I know I'm not the only hurt one.
And I'm sorry for the people that I've neglected and hurt because of my own self-centredness.
(Ruimin, Aaron, meimei etc.)
But nothing is ever one-sided.